Water: Part 2!

So I decided to carry on with my 'Water' story this week, so here is part two! If you want to read part one, you can find it here. Constructive criticism is welcome, so let me know what you think :)

Water: Part 2

Taken from here

Alexia had waited 7 long days for a chance to explore her newfound ability. Ever since she’d accidentally made it rain, she’d been anxious to see if she could do anything else, or make it happen again.  
Alexia had decided to travel to Lake Viridus, as there would be plenty of water there and she was unlikely to be disturbed. Lake Viridus was the only lake in the country, unless you counted the temporary ones that sprang up after small bouts of rain. Nobody could understand why it didn't dry out in the hot weather like the others; its emerald waters stayed at the same height no matter how much, or how little rain fell. This was one of the reasons why people didn’t visit the lake; they didn’t trust it.
 Clambering onto a boulder by the side of the lake, Alexia looked out over the calm water. It looked inviting in the hot sun, and Alexia was tempted to jump in and cool off, but that wasn’t what she was here for. She focused on the centre of the lake, and concentrated on disrupting the surface of the water. Nothing happened. She sighed, letting out a puff of air which blew her long, pale blonde hair out of her face.
Closing her eyes, Alexia concentrated harder than she’d ever concentrated on anything before. She stood still for what seemed like a very long time, until suddenly she heard a soft splashing sound. She opened her eyes and saw ripples emanating from the spot in the centre of the lake that she was so focused on. Alexia let out a shriek of joy, losing all concentration, and the ripples slowly disappeared.
Just one more time…” she thought excitedly, as she closed her eyes and began to concentrate once more on the spot in the centre of the lake. Almost immediately, Alexia heard the sound of the water rippling, and opened her eyes to see the ripples extending quickly towards the banks of the lake. This time, she suppressed her excitement and tried to keep the ripples going for as long as she could. Soon the entire lake’s surface was covered in ripples, creating tiny waves which broke against the sandy banks around the lake.
“You’re a natural”, came a voice from behind her, causing her to jump in shock. She whirled around to see a boy who looked to be around 14, her own age, lounging against the boulder Alexia was stood on. His chin-length, shaggy auburn hair blew about in the breeze, and his hazel eyes looked up at her confidently. She turned her head back to the lake to see the last of her ripples disappearing into the water.
“A natural at what?” She asked suspiciously. How long had he been watching her?
“Controlling water” he replied, gesturing towards the lake. “I’m guessing you have an affinity for it?”
Alexia didn’t respond, instead she turned her gaze towards the lake again; the water was smooth, as if it had never been disturbed. She had heard of people who had affinities for the five main elements: Water, Fire, Air, Earth and Spirit. They were known as elementalists, and to be one you had to have an affinity for at least one element. It had never occurred to Alexia that she might have an affinity for water, although now that she thought about it, it seemed obvious.
“What else can you do, besides the ripples?” He spoke eagerly, clearly interested about her ability.
“Well…I only realised I could do it the other day. I made it rain by accident.”
“You made it rain in this dried up country?” He looked slightly impressed. “You must have an affinity!”
“How do you know?” Alexia asked dubiously. If this boy was the same age as her, how would he know about affinities?
He held out his hand, and a ball of fire swelled in his palm. Looking at Alexia with glowing red eyes, he explained: “Because I have one too!”

Comments

  1. I think you have a real talent for this fiction business Laura! I'm pretty sure, if you wanted, you could develop this into a book :)

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    1. Thank you! That's really nice to say :) I'm glad you liked it!

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  2. I agree, surely there's a longer story to tell here. Well done.

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  3. So we still have three elements to go, then a quest to find the ???? at the centre of the ?????? guarded by the legendary ?????.

    Followed by the Movie and TV series....The sequel and the large Hollywood house, big swimming pool and posh dog..

    You just need to close your eyes and make words ripple...

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    1. That sounds like a good dream! I don't think I'd want a house in Hollywood though, a mansion in the English countryside would do me :) I'd keep the swimming pool, though...

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  4. This writing is amazing Laura, I'm not kidding, I really do want more.

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad you like it :)

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  5. Can't wait to see what happens next. Will there be more?

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    1. There will probably be more :)

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  6. Very cool short story. I'm interested to see how their relationship develops.

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    1. Thanks! I'm looking forward to writing it :)

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  7. Oooh, it's sounding good! :) x

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  8. Ooh very cool. I agree this could defo be made into something longer. Can't wait to read more :)

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    1. Thank you! I'd better get writing then :)

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  9. I've just been catching up on some of your posts, and I really love the two water stories. I agree with the other comments here, you could really develop this into something more and I hope you do - I could see the scene playing out in my head! Fab :-)

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    1. Thank you! I'm working on making it into something longer at the minute :)

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